Qijin chau

Year: Sophomore

nicknames: Q, Kitchen

hometown: Somerville, ma

past teams: somerville villens, Tufts BMEN

Not much is known of Qijin’s early years – he suddenly appeared one day in a dumpling restaurant. The staff couldn’t keep him away from the back rooms, leading to his nickname of kitchen. kitchen spent his remaining early years in that restaurant, eating many dumplings and growing big and tall. As the years went by small kitchen became big Kitchen and outgrew the restaurant. Kitchen left his beloved dumplings and went to Somerville High, where he tried to move into the girls’ bathroom accidentally. After this incident, he quickly joined Somerville VILLEN in hopes of avoiding future embarrassment. In VILLEN, Kitchen discovered the name of the game was not dumplings, but instead Ultimate.

Tackling Ultimate with his unique skillset, Kitchen began cooking up some special sauce. He hid away for months in Somerville High’s culinary classroom, running the numbers and making sure his new dish was extra spicy. When he emerged, he immediately took on the best defender in VILLEN, and threw a flick from 3 feet above the fool’s head. News of his revolutionary high release flick spread like wildfire and it soon became his personality. While not releasing flicks 10 feet off the ground, Q spent his time failing geography and getting good at putting orange balls in baskets. Eventually Qijin found himself and his now 12 foot flick outgrowing VILLEN. He decided to follow the trail of former member Sammy D to the Tufts EMEN, where he immediately forgot how to throw his signature flick.

It’s unknown whether this was due to blunt-force trauma from his severe bike crash, emotional trauma from either Pudge or Mr. Possession (see also: Tony Goss), or simply running out of memory after learning a backhand. Kitchen proceeded to gain the respect of the EMEN after cooking them in basketball during a rare cross- training experiment. Qijin currently resides 1 foot above his opponent, holding the frisbee they were trying to catch.